Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Searching...Endlessly


Like losing your child in the grocery store....

I have lost my dad.

Wandering past the isles hoping they'll pass by at the other end and that the beating of your heart will rest once again.

Endlessly,

Faces rush past you that do not know you,

that would not call your name.

Endlessly,

calling to them in the silences of your brain.


Endlessly,

I search for dad.

Calling to him before I fall asleep.

Hoping he will hear me.

Endlessly,

my words echo in the darkness.

In the far recesses of my heart.


Endlessly,

I long for him.

To hear him call to me.

For him to remember me.

To have him visit me just one more time.


Endlessly,

my stomach's torn with longing for his voice,

to see him laugh

and to have him smile at me.

to hold him while he tells me to not be sad.


Endlessly,

I wait for dad.


Endlessly,

I wait for him to call.


Endlessly,

Reaching to find his spirit.


Endlessly,

I mourn his passing.


Endlessly,

I sit in my bed, soaked with tears.


Endlessly......I will love you dad.

Friday, September 12, 2008


I paint.


Painfully.


Wishing dad were here to see.


What normally took 4 days to complete....


seems to last an eternity.


My paint can fills with tears.


I miss him.


My house is covered with thoughts of dad....


in droplets of my memories of him.


He is here....


and I know he's proud of me.


thanks dad.