"Who is that?"
"Oh, That's Jane. She's Plain."
"Oh, that's Jane....SO that's what she looks like...."
I went to Value Village today, to spend my scraps of leftover money from Christmas and find something nice, something new....well new for me , anyway.
I'ts truely disappointing when your friends say you remind them of a librarian...and then the only style of clothing you tend to dress yourself in consists of the "dismal color schemes" often imagined of a condemning and somber librarian.
"You're Boring, Jane!"
Long skirts and long sleeve blouses done up to your throat. Cuffs that flared and fluffed, and turtlenecks that hide the places where a man should be able to kiss you when your hair is pulled back.
"Only 5 items at a time in the change room , Jane!"
"I didn't see any signs....care to tell me where they are?"
Time after time, I saw a new librarian staring back at me in the mirror, so the 2nd & 3rd time around I went for jeans...wrangler, jordache, gap ...you name it....they all screamed at me telling me how large my backside was.
Librarians are so rude.
Sometimes you wish you could "Shush!!" them.
"Jane.... Librarians wear skirts, to cover their assets."
"Assets", I thought...If My ass was a bank machine it would hold millions, I'm certain...
Again I hit the aisles hoping to find success....
The librarians sang in whispers, their dirge of who they thought I should be.
No pants....to fit my "buffet table" behind.
"Here, Jane, Have another doughnut!....I have chocolate?..."
I ignored their comfort foods and stayed uncomfortable, pushing through the order of plastic hangers that squeaked along the rails.
I found a jean skirt, a peasant skirt, a peasant top and a black wool winter coat that flares.
A pea-green turtle neck, a white stretch blouse with turned cuffs, and a chenille sweater with black, red and grey stripes.
I think I did okay...they all look nice and fit well ...and for every piece I bought, I had to throw away 3 others back home out of my closet..... A fair trade, I would have to say. I did well in the throw away dept.....
"Jane...you still dress like a librarian."
"Jane...You need to lose 30 pounds."
"Jane....are you listening?"
"Oh...that poor Jane!"
"We need to buy her a full length mirror!"
"Oh Yes! Indeed!"
I dressed in black again today. My torso wrapped in a canvas of bloody red velvet. Representing my broken heart over a one sided conversation with the librarian in the mirror. I muffled the dirge that loomed in my throat with a cream scarf...to hide the red words that choked me.
Like gauze to a wound....
I return to my Winter Kingdom ...and find comfort there.
"I am Jane...I am plain."
"...and this is my pain."