Thursday, July 30, 2009

Among the Shadows

I spent my whole life until now within the walls of the church.
I don't regret leaving,
I am glad to have gone,
though, I find my relationships outside of church,
much more fulfilling as of late.
I have not renounced my faith at all,
but just question the actions and speech of others who profess the same as me,
often witnessing the hypocritical side of Chrisitanity.
I am embarrassed to call myself Christian.
I tell people, that I have faith in God, Pray and watch stuff happen.
That's it.
No religion, not set of rules or judgements...
It's become personal more than anything.
One thing I appreciate about the things I have learned, is the evidence of good and evil, of angelic forces and of the demonic.
It is clearly visible to me because I have seen it in my life often and when you expose yourself to learning of how these forces operate in everyday life, and see how others simply overlook it or do not beleive.....I must tell you that it is still there....
whether you choose to see it or not.
Plain and simple, like the shadow that follows you in the sunlight.
Since moving out here, I have seen it more than ever.
There is a spirit of peace on some folk that I have met,
but a particular group has shown me a spirit of division,
of anger,
of hatred.
Every morning when I skip rope and then walk the perimeter of my yard, I declare the boundaries within my reach and state that no evil force will negatively effect our lives,
will come in and attempt to deplete our relationship,
our household,
and our family of what it values.
I have spoken that no force will come over here and dictate to me "How things are done out here" and it is amazing the transformation that has occurred.
People phone now before they arrive, and when people need to get to parts of our land where they would normally go through our yard....they now use the fences outside of the perimeter of our yard....
Situations arose now where we don't need people to care for our pets and enter our home while we're away... the level of security has physically changed.
The forces have shown their rejection of me and who I am...but I have stood my ground and the negative issues keep their distance,
their comments cannot upset me,
and they are disturbed when my simple responses in kindness do not stir up a fight.
They simply get more frustrated that I won't stoop to their level of anger,
or control,
or loudness....
When they come here they try to control me or my husband,
but boundaries are quickly re itterated and they leave in defeat...
they have no clue the negative foces that control them,
that tell them they can manipulate,
we do not value those things....
they come here and judge,
point fingers,
yell at whomever is available,
and we sit quiet and content... they respond with,
"well, don't you think you should do, or you should be....."
We do not need to control or dictate or rule,
we simply state the boundary and when it doesn't permit them to walk all over us,
they eventually leave...
Outside of my fence....things are simply not right....something is definitely weird,
or odd,
or distinctly evil,
but I don't respond to their pressures...
thankfully they respond to my influences that strip them of their power.
I am thankful to have met a handful of virtuous people,
who are scincere,
who are genuine,
who do not judge,
who do not attempt to control me or others that come by here.
The declarations made around my property have kept the evil ones at bay....
my land has become a place surrounded by an army of angels, who can see the enemy from afar off and push them further back.
Their shadows no longer tread here.
For I have declared this land my land, set apart, and separate...
A city on a hill, for people to marvel at
and cause inner wonder...
They don't get it...
nor do I think they ever will.
Thanks "T",
for clarifying the things that I suspected,
thanks for reitterating what I beleived to be true without even telling you,
you saw it as well,
you sensed it...
But I live here now....and what we say goes.
This is how we do things out here.....

Thursday, July 9, 2009

My Wedding Blues

My husband and I decided to elope.
We didn't want all the fuss of people telling us who to invite and where to host and all the crap that goes on with planning a wedding!
Well...turns out their all pissed anyway...
One portion of people have decided that we've screwed up somehow by not involving them in our lives.
Some are quite offended, few could care less..
We decided to marry for us...not for the enjoyment of the world.
But of the handful that we thought would be happy for us...
the party numbers had dwindled considerably.
We know that if we were to host something regardless, the party poopers would show up out of obligation and still be party poopers....
and if we decided to cut them from the list the fuss would just get worse.
So, alas,
I will not celebrate my wedding with you.
As much as I wanted everyone to meet everyone,
it is in your best interest not to.
Thanks for all your congratulations and for those who sent us the abundance of money gifts..
we love you and adore you and are glad you were able to celebrate with us in this manner!!!
It's not what I wanted but it will have to do.
We were hoping to introduce my world to his...
but instead,
my friends wil be mine
and his will belong to him.
I am greatful for the ones that still tag along in my life,
who are full
of discretion,
and faith,
with you, I celebrate in my heart.