My hands were covered in blood today.
Before last night's shift, All I could think about was the pink sky on the horizon on Valentine's day. It was a wonderful sight. Bird's soaring...floating, really, on the chinook wind that carried them in stillness over the water of the resevior near my house. It was beautiful, and the birds called out, reminding me of my other home on the shores of the UK's Southwest .
But today was red.
Sometimes you forget to put on gloves. or you've run out of them...and the urgency for your hand to help is needed right now.
In a whirlwind of drunken confusion, I stood next to a man who was detoxing from a 2 week binge of drinking. He had no idea where he was...let alone who he was....and his blood was all over the place....and on my hands.
My pink sky turned red today in a sea of casualties and dying people that flooded the room of Emergency.
Yes, I work in Emergency. I have for the last 10 years.
Blood.
it's scary sometimes....
especially when you don't know what's in it...
or what it's gotten into.....
Later I tried to help police undress a man who was soothed by my voice but aggitated by theirs. I only walked 5 feet away and minutes later a tazer was held to his chest.
Police Brutality,
Excessive force,
"Constable Chauchy"...is what everyone referred to him as....actually, it was me that called him that.
Possibly a case of "small man syndrome" wearing a red stripe down the side of his pants.
Now I understand the stuff on the news.
Give these boys new toys and a small dick and they become worse for wear when fighting crime on our streets.
Show offs.
I hate cops
Young cops
New cops.
Adrenaline junkies,
all hopped up on power,
They see blood on their hands and it's of their own doing, their own proddings, their own tauntings...and then when presumed guilty they cover each other and wash their hands free of the speculation.
The good old boys club.
Dirty cops.
A force to be reckoned with.
Oh Lord, Give me strength!!
No matter how much they wash thier hands thiy're still dirty cops.
I wanted to be one some time ago...
Thank God , I was prodded in another direction.
Instead we clean up their mess and tuck their clients all into bed, send them home sober and safe, with someone's business card in their hand for the next bad day they come across.
And at the end of the day we wash our hands.... and are free to carry on.
Guilt Free.
Sound.
Clear headed.
Secure.....with our own abilities to handle the situation....
No stripes,
No tazers,
.....just gloves....if we have time,
Confidence in teamwork,
And hearts that give and voices that soothe.
and as the blood washes away
....it turns pink .....
as it fades down the drain.
I am reminded of my Valentine's Day pink sky....
and the birds....
on the southwest shores of the UK.
