preparations

Preparations are a big thing sometimes. I am in the midst of planning a wedding, planning the landscaping of my yard. and planning our financial future....

I'm also planning how to best effectively lose weight before the wedding, how to even out the farmer's tan on my arms and what to do with my hair come wedding day....

Planning my next trip to England has been especially hard for me....especially after losing my dad.... I wish he were still here, but he had to go...had stuff to do....he always hated waiting for the rest of us...no matter what.

But I need to go to England...to see King George......My long distance dad. I never knew how much he meant to me until 5 years ago when Mum Rowe told me how much I meant to Him..and then revealing a cupboard filled with treasures he stockpiled for me consisting of lemon squash, chocolate penguins and a tiny jar of peanut butter, andtelling me "Peter absolutely adores you Cheryle".

I miss them both like crazy. I feel so fortunate to have been able to visit them as many times as I have.

Right now flights return are only $972 with everything included.

I hope to Bring my Timmy and Bree.....so everyone can finally meet. I miss being there so much, in ST. Ives....My home away from home.

I was sifting through my many years worth of photos thinking I need to scrapbook it all soon. I have saved, ticket stubs and pamphlets, rail passes and other tokens of my memories there....

How fun would it be to compile it all in a book for years down the road when both King George and Mum Rowe have passed on.

I will visit them within the next year....I will promise myself that much!!! Hopefully in the spring or early summer .....when the weather is still very beautiful along the coast.

King George will pick me up at the train and I will most likely, get into the car on the wrong side again.

...and yet again, once more, I will sit on the shore cliffs of Porthminster Beach and look for Canada's Eastern Shore.

"I'm almost there, King George! Watch for me!! I'm just across the water!!!"

basement renos

Oh...

there is so much to fix up here because the previous owner decided he was going to be not so fabulous with his reno efforts.

So Tim & I are left to our own devices to try and fix the mess. .....

For the most part, so far.......we have decided to paint. This will hide a majority of the flaws but for now...it makes the room more warm and welcoming.

We'll have to re-adjust a few door frames so that we can put proper trim on everything...

The two back bedrooms will be torn apart to re-insulate and to re-drywall.

Bree is looking forward to moving down there.....and I am looking forward to decorating a guest bedroom.

I have recently fallen in love with the Cabella's catalogue....there home edition is nice because it is full of cabin decor.

I am hoping to go with a Canadian log cabin feel.

With panelling running sideways on the wall to give it that whitewashed cabin look.

I have had my eye on a red wool blanket at Hudson's bay in Banff, and I want to make a head board out of Red patterened Tiolle and birch trees towering over the head of the bed....I saw it all in a Canadian House & Home magazine and It looked so dreamy.... I've enclosed a photo of it above. We've decided to do the basement first...so we'll have a completed livable space when we decide to renovate the upper floor.

anyway have a look see at the photos. the basement and the red bedroom.

Mind the bear. He's a little off kilter and needs some re-adjustment....Tim has a deer mount still at the taxidermist...hopefully it will return home soon. And cabellas sells a nice beaver pelt stretched out on a frame....

cuttlebug crazy

Okay thanks to Tamie, I am now dreaming of a cuttlebug...even to the point where I have bid on one through ebay. I spent ages looking through the vast templates available through ebay...My sister and I are both anticipating the arrival of a cuttle bug to further our paper addictions and to push us through to new creative efforts.

I'm quite amazed at my sister , really....she has never been very creative and for once I think she will develop quite a creative niche for herself....

Yesterday I made a couple of new cards with my stamp sets from Stampin' up...I'm hoping to get a summer job so I can host my addiction for the stuff. Next year I am hoping to buy the "Big Shot" die cutter and all of it's parts....then I will be able to do anything!!!!!!!

Until until then...my mediocre cards will have to suffice.... Mine are still not as beautiful as Lisa's or Tamie's but someday....they will be.

enclosed are a couple samples of my work

Fake Believe

I live in a world where we all pretend.

I say she's my friend...

but she's not.

She chose to walk away.

Another says that my friendship means so much to her and that she's so glad to have me in her life.

but she never calls or meets for coffee.

Years ago my life was a mess, in shambles and shattered...and yes, I was sad, yes,I tried to reach out...

but no one followed through.

They all wished me well or patted me on the back.

They meant well.

I believed them for a time but they never returned.

........they were all fake believe!

Today I ran into a friend of mine who I had not seen since just after my husband left our home.

He told me that he had never forgotten that day that he walked away.

Being such a good friend for so long after high school and then walked away in the midst of adult crisis....

and forever regretted it.

Today he apologised for walking away.

It made me cry.

For a few moments I was transported back to that day when he walked away from someone who needed a friend.

For so long, friends just appeared to be fake believe....

Time goes by and so much of life just seems to disappear...

It's all make believe.

Fake believe.

Some days I will listen to people and smile...knowing that their talk is cheap.

Fake believe..

I used to believe....

in friends,

in authentic relationship,

But time takes over,

and so does distance,

and fleeting words and feelings just disappear as vapour.

I used to play make believe.....

but now live surrounded by those who play

"Fake -Believe"

The Viscose Four

Being friends with girls is hard for me...

there's a handful that I love and respect because they are real and genuine.

It's the ones that appear to be forcing their nicities that I find hard to consider for

the "Authentic Friendship "tag.

Most are made of plastic,

or wear a mask of their partner.

They have no balls,

all smooth in the front like Ken,

opinionated-- yet appear presumably innocent.

They don't take sides or support anyone cuz it might cause a rift,

but they'll stab you in the back when you're not looking.

I just wanna rip their arms out and cut their pretty hair.

so their lives won't appear to themselves so perfect anymore.

Quit telling me about your life! Quite insinuating that you are better than me and everyone else.

I don't care about your dogs that are your children, or how much money you have...no one cares.

Do you parade around because that's where your self esteem lies.?.... on the outside, as a show for everyone to see?

I just want to stitch your mouth shut so you can't tell me all the lies you spew.

I vomit in my mouth at the things that you say.

It's funny how you still manage to point fingers when barbies' hands are moulded with fingers together.

You flaunt your high fashion, your big boobies, and your 2.2 children, a cat, and a dog- persona and smile for the camera...but that is not who you are.

On the inside you are rotten.

Your bones are evil and vindictive...bitterness flows out of your Colgate smiles

...and doesn't ruin your tattooed lipstick.

Your clique still exists in your imaginary world,

still so "highschool"

and malicious.

I have carried on this long without you...and still I don't mind.

Just Dad...and the 64 Chev.

I went home .

Dad wasn't there.

So I went to the garage.

I remember him coming into the house smelling of motor oil after working on the car.

It's all I could smell when I walked in.

I wanted to run up and hug him.

The house is quiet without the scanner going...and I hated that thing so much. I spent over two hours trying to dial up a channel...to no avail.

"dad show me how to work this thing."

Why didn't ever ask him to?

Why couldn't I just take interest in some of his things?

Anyway...the things I did take interest in..mom decided it should go to someone else or up on her shelf to keep....she told me I have good memories...

I just want my dad......and the 64 chev....

Winter Diamonds

The wind blows all about me this morning as I wave good bye to the school bus.

I feel the cold even more amongst the stitches on my face.

It burns despite the frigid temps.

The mountains look beautiful today. The cows braying in the feild break the language carried by the wind.

The moose returned to me today.

Three days in a row, she has come to feed on the fragments of alfalfa in the yard.

She is beuatiful and large.

This morning she wears a coat of frost,

like diamonds on her back,

glistening.

I look down at my left hand and smile at the glitter that embraces my finger.

Today we both wear diamonds.

Today we both appreciate where we are today.

She looks at me.

I wave.

She stares....

I think she sees the glimmer from my hand...

and she's thinking

that today we both wear diamonds.

I saw her smile....

then she walked across the feild.

She couldn't bear the sparkle any more.

Ha ha.

Now I Smile.