A good friend once told me of the "Jekyl & Hyde" transformation on my life.She stated it was such a difference from the person she met when I was first married.
I was such a bitch to my husband, a retrictive mother to my little daughter.
I nagged,
I swore,
I told him what to do all the time,
I told him what to wear,
and I de-masculated him in front of everyone.
I had no regard at all.
No respect for him.
I never let him go anywhere and if he did I didn't let him go very long.
I never let my child be curious and learn of the things exposed to other people's lives.
I always said no and she listened without fighting back.
Well My husband one day walked out...
Dissappeared...
After nine months I found him living with another woman.
My daughter is reaching her teens and my restrictiveness has made her lazy and sometimes forgetful...becuase I always took care of whatever in the end....
I took for granted the things that were closest to me....
And somehow I lost them.
Yesterday I saw my old self again...But it wasn't me...It was a woman who stopped by my house.
She never let her children be curious in my house,
She looked so uncomfortable here.
Her children would ask me a question and their mother would immediately snap a "No" at them.
I ultimately let her have the final say for them...as I did years ago.
Then when the men came in, she yelled at her husband about his clothing.. and when he commented she just shut him down and told him to say thankyou...
He immediately followed suit, making her big large tall husband look like one of her cowering children.
I felt sorry for him...and my husband shivered at his friend's reaction.
The stay lasted 20 minutes...and I was glad...becuase I did not like hosting my old self.
Her demeanor makes her a bitter, angry woman...
The first rule, hanging on the wall in my house ,when you walk in the door says, "Absolutley No Naggin'"
The bible says: "Better to live on a corner of a rooftop than to live with a quarrelsome wife."
It also says, " A contentious woman is like a dripping faucet."
I will be the first to say that the old me was a dripping faucet, a wailing window, a clanging pipe, and a bad refrigerator motor.
There is a famous writing that speaks of how to be a virtuous woman....
She is far from perfection, but she shows regard for her husband & her family, and through it all, ultimately for herself by acting so.
It Speaks as follows,
"A wife of noble character, who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good and not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works hard with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is dark, and prepares food for her family
and portions for those her bless her.
She considers opportunities and purchases them,
out of her earnings, she produces more.
She sets out her work vigorously; her arms strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hand to the needy, When it snows, she has no fear for her family, for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for their beds, and she is clothed as royalty.
Her husband is deeply repected in the city where he takes his seat among leaders of the land.
She maken linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with supplies.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful, but gentle, wisdom is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise and call her blessed,
Her Husband also, and he praises her saying,
"Many women do noble things, but you have surpassd them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise where ever she goes."
Years ago,
I saw how different I was from this writing,
my husband did not praise me,
because I did not bring him respect,
I only yelled,and argued,
I was bitter, and unthankful,
disrepectful and terribly bitchy!!!
My visitor did not even congradulate us on our wedding, or on anything else.
She was so focused on herself that she could not see past the Chaos of her own thinking.
I know this because I was her long ago...
But that's okay...her husband made up for her, with many thanks, and a handshake, and for a few gifts that we had passed onto them.
Someday...she'll hopefully see what she takes for granted.
I'm glad the old Cheryle no longer exists...but I'm sad to see the Jekyl & Hyde appearance that present itself in those we meet.
The antidote is out there.
But it's deep within ourselves...
and only we can find it
...no one else.
